Monday, January 31, 2011

Old + Old = New

This one isn’t really for the guys, unless well, you also have an apparel problem. Since I can remember, I have had a serious problem with clothes. I also have a problem with not putting time into getting ready in the morning. I’d love if every day I had on the perfect outfit, and had time to curl and mess with my hair until it was perfect... but I’m not an early riser. Personally, anyone that is, I think there may be something a little off kilter with them... just sayin. I don’t even work that early. Really, for someone that doesn’t have to be to work til 8:30, I shouldn’t be complaining.

So instead of perusing my full closetS (yes I have taken occupancy of more than one closet in my house for clothing) to find stuff to wear, I’d rather go shopping and buy new stuff. The thrill of wearing new clothes is indescribable. I said indescribable. The reminder that I have a brand new shirt or boots to wear, on any particular day, is enough to make me get out of bed... on time... or dare I say it, early.

With my long list of big purchases I’d like to make in the next couple months, my wallet doesn’t necessarily agree with my shopping urges. Because of that list, last night I decided to get out of bed and look through my old clothes. Instead of dreaming about my next pair of boots, or a new cute shirt, I put together “new” of the “old”. So I pulled out piece after piece, and matched them up. I officially have a wardrobe that’ll take me into next week without the morning debate. That adds a good 10-20 minutes in my morning struggle. I even took out my memory device (my camera) and took snapshots of them. Clueless anyone? I decided to somehow keep a log of these photos, to remember what kind of combos I’ve made out of my old clothes. So, when I get bored of what I have I can go back in, and check out some ideas I may have forgotten. This is genius! (Not sure where to store this stuff... but we’ll save that for another day.) Knowing that I have these outfits planned out into next week, means I don’t really have to think about swiping that card any time soon. Feels good, sort of...

I even found some things I forgot I had, or knew I had but just hadn’t worn in a long while. Scaves and jackets that just needed to be pared with the right things. Styles will always come full circle, another reason why fashion is so awesome. That is why it’s so hard to throw anything out, and in this case it was a good thing. Because these items, I think have definitely come around again.

It’s funny, but finding random pieces of clothing used to be what we did best. We, as in my sister Crystal and I, would pull things from our stuffed animals, and find things we had and put them on. Then we’d run into my parent’s room on a Saturday morning and dance around in them... No one said they were stylish, but it was in our nature. It shows why I get so much thrill out of ‘the old meets the new’ styling process.

In light of this information, I would just like to remind any of you tighter budgeted people to dig before you swipe.


Friday, January 28, 2011

"Look we're dancing"

There are many reasons why I love my Steven, one of them, is I think he’s funny and he thinks I’m funny. We have “witty” text banter like everyday. Well, usually in text form. I wouldn’t expect most of you to find them funny, maybe they are worth sharing... but then again I may be biased... I hope I don’t get in trouble for this... (pointer nail in teeth, one eye squinted).

Me: I think it’s impossible for me to love you less... (Repeating what he said earlier that day).
Steve: U know what I meant!!!!!!!!!!

Me: U missing something...
Steve: Omg!!! How? Why?
Me: That freak just appeared out of my dryer. Musta followed me home 1 day.
Steve: Weird, I’m gonna have to ask u a few questions next time I see u!
Me: Don’t pin this on me. It’s T’s fault... I pitty that fool...
Steve: Haha. Your off the hook

Steve: I just got the ipoop app
Steve: U owe me a dollar
Me: Y?
Steve: It’s super lame SUPER lame
Me: I told u about it like a year ago & said it was probably a waste of $. I’m not payin u.
Steve: U better pay me
Me: I WON’T!!
Steve:                         BILL
             Bad advice............................$0.50
             1.3 minutes of my time.........$0.50
             1 crappy app.........................$0.99
Steve: It’s $1.99 now
Me: I told u I won’t pay $1... y would I pay u $1.99? I do appreciate this completely legitimate bill tho... hahaha
Steve: I’ll get it one way or another.

(Because he was making such a big deal about getting his bed)
Steve: Why r u doing this?????
Steve: It’s worth My life
Steve: Your dramatic

Me: No...... Just no ur excited forsome5alive
Steve: Am I annoying u yet?????
Me: No,ittakesalotforyoutoannoyme...unfortunately.
Steve: Do u wanna stop by AT&T b 4 we go andgetyourspacebuttonfixed

Steve: GOD DAMNIT u r not only a mail thief but your also an apparel thief
Me: I told u the deal... T just showed up in my dryer!

Steve: Cheese dip!!!!
Me: Present!!!!
Steve: I will. Cheese dip!!!
Me: We will! And when I get off work tonight we can head over to the AT&T store and

Steve: Elephants are made of mainly 4 elements
Me: No they’re not...
Steve: Carbon, nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen.
Steve: Mostly oxygen
Me: OJ, flour, burgers, and poop

Me: U sleepin or watchin?
Steve: Watching
Me: Watchin what?
Steve: Come see
Me: See what?
Steve: See
Me: What
Steve: The world.
Me: The world!!
Steve: Yep
Me: Ahh the world.
Steve: Yes

Steve: Goin back to work Monday. I think it’s a T-Mobile store.
Me: That’s good.
Me: While ur there steal their 4g so we can use it...
Steve: I’m gonna steal as much 4g as I can fit in my truck
Me: Good, only for the 2 of us tho...
Steve: Just me n u!

Steve: OMG! Did u hear?? This weekend is canceled. U need to go home get sleep and report back to work tomorrow morning for Monday.
Steve: I’m really sorry
Me: WTF, who told you that!?
Steve: I can’t tell u over the phone it’s not safe, but it’s real
Me: Crap. Ok I’ll go home after work and get some rest. Thanks for the heads up...
Steve: Good we can talk later
Me: Ok, not too long though, I have to get my sleep, remember.

Steve: Harper you want to dance?
Steve: Look, we’re dancing.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

My other heart

Since I was little, my family grew up as cat people. Dogs were just... well... dirty. Never once crossed my mind that a dog might be, um, the best thing to ever have in your life. So I was surprised, along with others that I turned into such a Pug lover. After seeing my first Pug, I couldn’t stop thinking about that dog. I was in love. That squishy face, chubby wrinkles, and that curly tail... I couldn’t stand it.

I waited until I owned my own place. It wasn’t until 2008, I purchased my town house and immediately started doing my dog research. I wanted to make sure that I knew what I was doing. After doing some research, contacting breeders, and actually reading a book about Pugs, I had decided this was going to happen and it was going to happen now... (I told ya, when I get a thought like this, I do it). I was contacted on Dec 5, 2008, and was told that Lina just had her litter, I got first pick of the 3 black females. I couldn’t wait.

While my dad was a little skeptical about the whole thing, my mom was trying to convince me to get a “cuter” dog, one that doesn’t grunt and snort... She was not changing my mind, and when my dad saw how passionate I was about the whole thing, he changed his. I told him I was taking a week off from work when I brought her home, to get her and myself adjusted.

The breeder sent pictures of their progress, and I took a couple trips out there to see them.

The trip I took with my mom (dogs were 6 weeks old) was the week I picked “pink dot”

I would be able to take her home at 8 weeks old. We were informed that the puppies got kennel cough or something like it, and they were on medication at about 6 or 7 weeks. I was told she should be ok by the time we were to pick her up, and if not we should continue the medication until she was.

February 7, 2009 came around, her 8-week mark. I couldn’t wait to get in the car and drive the hour+ trip to go get her. We picked her up and made the trip back.

I immediately got that feeling again... the ‘what did I just do’ feeling... Shit, did I just get myself into something I can’t do AGAIN? I can do this, I want to do this... So after the small mental breakdown, I was ready... ok, let’s do this.

Week 1: WTF was I thinking? I couldn’t stop crying when I was stressed, which was often. This is probably exactly what having a real kid is like. They whine/cry and you do anything in your power to help them so they will stop. I completely lost it. She was crying, I was crying. Come on, all she wanted to do was pee. (I couldn’t ‘outside train’ her yet, because of the subzero temps and she was still sick.) So I attempted a litter box train... which quickly turned into potty pad training.

I spent a few long phone calls talking to Allison on tips, and getting reassurance from her about what was going on. Thanks Allison, you were really my lifesaver.
Harper and her boyfriend Bruce (Allison's dog).

Week 2: Harper got worse, I had to take her into the vet and they detected fluid in her lungs... after spending hours at my vet and an ER vet and $600+ later, I found out she had pneumonia. Shit. Had to do what it takes to get her better. After some tlc (for her) and another mental breakdown (for me), we were both going to be ok. Thanks to April for coming along with me and talking me through that long evening at the ER.

Week 3-Present:
March/April 2009: I was finally able to take her outside for the first time. Start real potty training.
She was so confused by what was out there, she cowered between my legs the whole time.
She gets into just about everything... toilet paper, her food, and she’s a carpet eater... also bit fingers and toes. Bones were shoved in her mouth often.

After breaking out to the unknown world, she’s curious of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. She has so many dog and human friends. When people meet Harper they just fall in love. She has so many nicknames I don’t even know if I can remember them all... let’s see (Miss Harper, Missy, Sweetheart, Pretty, Nugget, BJ (not what you think, but probably still as gross), Piggy, Squish, Punnum, Ted (Nugget = Nuget), Steve (Buchemi), Meat loaf w/sausage legs a meatball head and bacon tail (I mean no one really says all that, but the point’s been made), and Muffin and there may be more that I’m just forgetting... see a lot. But she just loves it all... well she loves everything except for everyday objects...

Weird Fact:
Harper resembles a Harp seal... weird... right? (Harp seal image courtesy of Google)
Harper is one of the best things I could have ever added to my life. My mom always told me she hopes I have a daughter just like myself when I’m older. At the time I got Harper, I was unsure if I wanted kids, so someone made sure my mom’s request was fulfilled... in the form of Harper. Seriously... that dog will love you, but drives you crazy at the same time. She actually talks back if she doesn’t get her way... But, she is my heart, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

My family quickly took to her and I can proudly say I’m a dog owner. My family can proudly say they are dog people.

My mom thinks (despite her feelings earlier) that Harper is the cutest dog she has ever met.

Harper has a sister now too, RUBES (Ruby). You can see her excitement, after just saying Ruby’s name. She will run up and down the stairs and scour the whole house because she thinks that Ruby is there... I mean seriously... it’s kind of ridiculous.
See ridiculous... Harper tries to get all the dogs to kiss her and
Rubes has fell for it on more than one occasion...

Just because she's awesome.

She learned how to swim last summer : )

This is one of my favorite videos of her!

She's learned to love the snow.

Video quality is horrible, but you get the jist of it.

Harper just generally being awesome.

Workin her army crawl

Did I mention she snores...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Abuse is NOT tollerated... plain and simple...

I thought today, might be a good day to remind people of this... You’d think this is common knowledge right... ? Well apparently it’s not. My heart just aches at watching someone I know very well be subject to physical, emotional, and verbal abuse.

The control has become so obvious to many of us. Everyone, well, except her. We’ve said our piece and shared our love for her. She just doesn’t get it. I know, I know, I would be na├»ve to think when we share our concerns and opinions, that it would be picked up and acted upon... That’s not how people in abusive relationships work... But, I keep thinking, she’s smarter than this! Maybe she thinks she’s not because he has emotionally and verbally broken her down... I am not sure.

A little while back there was a Facebook explosion with her “friends” (who conveniently are actually his friends). These “friends” are encouraging this relationship because it makes her happy... because “what happened” was a bump in the road... Then point fingers at the family (she is extended family) as if we are the controlling ones. Everyone in the family stands their ground and we try to be there for her, but also letting her know we do not approve of this relationship. It’s gotten to the point, where people have to shut her out because she thinks we are the enemy. Saddens me, that we the ones that care, don’t hit, and don’t control, have become the enemy. She has pulled herself away from family events, holidays, and huge milestones for some family members.

What completely boggles my mind is that, there are never any explanations to anyone of why she misses these gatherings. If you ask a question you rarely get a response, or a heart felt conversation about why she feels this way. BUT, Facebook is her avenue to vent. I mean, everything is fair game to complain about (even that relationship...) on her own page... Dirty laundry is aired there every day, but not a simple word or excuse to missing a birthday, Christmas, or anything to one of us. If he has changed her beliefs for her family, wouldn’t she go to just one person and tell them how they’ve done her wrong?

I was recently informed that a birthday invite went out on FB for her, and only one family member was invited. Guess who created the event invitation... Oh, yes, I think you guessed correctly, her loving boyfriend. Well I mean, we aren’t friends with him on there, but even if we were, nothing would be different. But he made it quite clear that anyone that wants to bring someone, must run it by him first... WAH? Really... Is that because you would like to make sure her family doesn’t come... cause. we. HATE. you? (Remember when I said hate is a really strong word... well in this case I know that, and I meant to use it.) Or just don’t want anyone that you may be jealous of to come... because you are a control freak?

This is so unsettling, and I hate the fact that all of us have to stand by, and wait to see if she will get the fact that he is the epitome of a douchebag... She is so dependent on him emotionally, and probably any other way someone can be dependent on someone... but especially emotionally. Her mind doesn’t think like a grown up most of the time. I guess she barely is a grown up. I read the other day, that she was actually doing his homework for him... Did she offer? Did he make her? Did he threaten her? I hate to think this type of stuff even happens, but it does, and then I have to think why.

I miss the way things used to be.

There is no beginning, middle or end to this post... This is totally a rant. I just can’t figure out why this is happening and at what point will she start to take this seriously? One day... one day... I can't wait for that day, she will figure this out... and I will prepare a full piece of my mind for him... I wish that day was today.


Monday, January 24, 2011

No, I'm not pregnant

With the recent news of my sister’s baby, I feel this story is probably worth sharing... it’s official... I, Brianna, will allow my life to be with child. I also feel, this is a good time to repeat the title... No, I’m not pregnant. This is huge though! I mean, it’s not that I always hated kids. Hate is a strong word, but you know how it is when you’re at a restaurant or at the mall, and kids are screaming and crying. It’s easier to throw that word out there, in those times of need. Well, in fact, I used to love kids. I couldn’t wait to have one after seeing one of my high school friends take care of her child, years ago. I thought how much joy and entertainment they could bring into someone’s life. Plus, it’s just standard... that’s what you’re supposed to do... right?

Well, that lasted about as long as it took to see people I knew well, and didn’t know well, fall apart. Strong people. How could this be, how do you keep this from happening? I started to think about the relationships I had had and the way I was treated. I couldn’t help but think this was the inevitable. People get married, have kids, and things get in the way. They stray, and now all the reasons you started this “journey” of yours are falling apart. I tried to think of why it was... it was kids. In my mind, that was the main contributing factor for these issues. You get married to someone you loved so dearly and held to the highest. Then you had kids. Because you chose to have kids, you have less money... so you fight. You have less time... so you fight. You are less intimate... so. you. fight. All of these factors can also lead to said “straying”... I believed that you should get married to be with that person, the one you love so much. Not so you can get married, have a baby and fall apart from that person.

I understand this may come off as a HUGE generalization... but this is what I’ve seen, and what I was lead to believe.

So it was officially decided, I was not going to have any kids. I was going to have dogs... easy enough... they wouldn’t limit the things we do. Apparently, this was sad to others, but to me it was realistic. It was simple. It was smart. I stood this ground for years and let people know this is the way I felt. My mind was not to be changed. Until now...

It wasn’t much later after Steve and I started dating, that we were brought with the news of his sister’s pregnancy. It wasn’t until one of the first home visits with them, that I held her baby Quinn. (I just couldn’t do it at the hospital. They are just too fragile, I didn't want to break her face, or whatever... dumb, I know.) Then we found out about my sisters pregnancy. This was it, I have to step up and learn this baby stuff. I was going to be an auntie. After some time passed and learning things about Quinn and learning things about Bridget during her pregnancy, I couldn’t keep my excitement at bay anymore. I had true feelings of overwhelming excitement for this. Questioning my previously decided lifestyle for myself. Coming to the realization, that that door... the one that holds the kids (not literally)... isn’t exactly locked anymore.

I could see this in my future. The life I have today is different than what I knew, only because some people make you realize it’s all worth it. And I thank you. This was actually a possibility. Things change so quickly. You think you can’t do something and then something or someone shows up and says you can. That’s all it takes.

Gettin the hang of this...
This is just the beginning...

Friday, January 21, 2011

"Grizzly Adams"

I'm not sure when this started happening to me, or if this has always been the way it is... but I have the worst. hearing. ever. And the sad part is that one of my pet peeves is repeating myself to others... Isn't that hypocritical. I mean, I will ask people a million times what they said til I get it right, but if you ask me to repeat myself, I may or may not take kindly to that.

My coworkers have taken complete notice to this problem (entertainment)... The thing we all enjoy about my inability to hear is that it's not just that I don't hear you, or heard crap, it's that it’s just weird... and sometimes kinda funny. See what I mean:

‘Mushrooms are not good, they make you hallucinate.’ Don't really know why anyone was talking about this...
‘My shoes are not good, they make you hallucinate.’ Ok...

'Marissa McNevan please dial...' A random page from the loud speaker at work.
'Marissa McNugget please dial...?’ McNuggets... I'm hungry.

‘Take notes of all the recipes and things.’ Something Steve said to me recently... Yeah... me, take notes, on recipes...
‘Take notes of all the breast and peas and wings.’ There is a better chance of me taking notes of these things...

While watching some skin commercial... I waited and waited for it to come on again because I knew that was not right...:
‘With advanced micro-crystal medicine.’
‘With enhanced micro-crystal meth.’ Wah?

‘If you are looking for say, fedex...’ During a presentation.
‘If you are looking for the fat ass...’ Yep, there's a better chance that they said "the fat ass" than "say, fedex" in this presentation...

This one I hear all the time...
‘Dick EnRico’
‘Dick and Rico’
I’m not joking, I literally thought Dick’s twin brothers name was “Rico”... I'm not even sure he has a brother now.

'It's a bocce set.’ Someone asking about some product at work.
‘It's a hibatchi set?’

During a work demonstration for a new system, the instructor was showing us all the different functions.
‘Use the drag-and-drop function.’
‘Use the dragon drop function.’
Kristin's lovely illustration of what said drop may look like...

And lastly:

'I think it was Adams...'
'Grizzly Adams...?' Which has become the overall term for my hearing... well... "opportunities".


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Pressures On

Finding a good harmony between sentimental and really funny is REALLY hard... I don’t come across too many moments where I need to write a formalish speech. I don’t do presentations at work. If I did it would be short and real casual. I haven’t been in a college class for over 3 years. This is going to be hard!

My oldest sister is married already. She did not want us to write a speech. Well I guess it is not that she didn’t want us to, it wasn’t discussed until last minute. It was decided that there was too much pressure to put something like that together that quickly. I mean I don’t want to be the girl that just through together this horribly awkward speech. People watch and judge, and smile while making that awkward giggle through their teeth. I won’t be that girl. So we just didn’t do it. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have great things to say if given the time.

So now, my other sister is getting married. We have discussed giving speeches... well not in detail, but enough to where I know I am giving a speech. Pressure is on. I want this to be good. I want people to think it’s sweet but still funny. So I started it like the week after they were engaged. About a year should be enough time to write that, right? How hard could it be...

IT’S REALLY HARD. You think you have all of these funny stories, but then you question the appropriateness of them. Once you score them an appropriate rating (hopefully)... if they pass... will anyone even get the story? Was that an inside joke? Is this one of those ‘you had to be there’ stories? You determine that the story is in fact appropriate AND a ‘you didn’t have to be there’ story, then you start questioning the validity in the details. Did they do this or this first? Was it this that they said, or this? Crap, another snag. Your list starts to become a little thin...

But, really... how hard could these two be to tell stories about...

The writing gets a little easier as you keep going. You type out a few lines and fill in some blanks, and then a couple jokes come to mind. Just get the flow going, and it gets easier. Only problem is, who is to tell you it's good, funny, or in fact still appropriate? You don't want to spoil the speech, I want everyone that hears it to hear it for the first time...

Guess, you just put it on the back burner and come back. See if you still think it’s all that you thought it was before. The extra time will allow for new stories to unfold...

That brings me to my back burner... it's been there for a couple of months now, and I should probably give that another go.

To Crystal and her muffin!

Good luck to any of you that may have any speech writing to do! Ugh.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Quite the catch

Am I the only woman out there that hates doing “womanly duties”? I know times have changed, and women do many different things now, than when our parents were younger. But I feel like the more I talk about not doing these things, the more I hear how other people love them. Am I just lazy? No. Do I really dread doing these things? Kind of.

I grew up helping around the house when I could, but that was to earn my keep with my parents. There are some things I have never done, and really don’t see myself doing... ie. mowing the lawn.

I have laughed in the past about how bad of a catch I was. It was funny to me, but at the same time kind of pathetic. I would say, “I don’t cook. Chores (laundry, dishes, vacuuming, grocery shopping, etc.) should be split between both of us. My husband will hopefully take care of mowing the lawn and stuff. I probably won’t be gardening. I like to argue and I don’t even want children... see I’m a horrible catch.” Really? That’s what you thought was funny?

Currently, I do what I need to around the house to keep it clean... not spotless (I’m not a freak)... but I pick up after myself. I do laundry and tell myself the floor needs to be vacuumed (not saying it actually gets done). As far as the gardening is considered, I’ve watched my mother do her gardening, and thought to myself... What a waste of time. Really, you have to dig up all those weeds and plant new flowers, spacing them evenly, AND you do this every year. Not to mention the daily watering... Again, who has the time? I have vowed to put fake flowers all over my yard when I’m older. And finally, I pay an association to take care of my snow removal and lawn care... Oh and the children... they have always been on a "we'll see" basis. See where this is going? Quite the catch! I don’t need to go into the cooking... we all know that situation...

This has all got to change. I mean, I don’t want to see myself in the kitchen cooking and doing chores, while he’s out working and doing the “manly duties”... but there is some give, and it’s definitely on my side. See, progress.


Monday, January 17, 2011

Greta “middle name TBD” W.

Most mornings it is very unpleasant to be woken up by a phone call before your alarm goes off... with the exception of this morning. I laid in bed, listening to the clings and clangs of my ringer (which is usually sure to get a small head-shoulder dance out of me... but not at 5:30 in the morning), and realized it wasn’t the sweet strums of the guitar that is my alarm tone... Huh? What time is it? Maybe I should roll over and see who would do this to me... I rolled the dead weight of my body over to grab the noisemaker. It was my mom... but why? I looked back and forth between the phone and the clock... and it hit me... duh you idiot, answer.

Me: “There is only one reason why you would be calling me this early.”
My Mom: “Yep, John said they are on the way to the hospital!”

Today is the day! I have been waiting (ok, we all have been waiting) for this baby to make her appearance into this world. I got ready quick... I mean quick. Today was also the day that I should (needed) to wash my hair. Nope, it can go another day. This was important. What if she has this baby while I’m getting ready. I mean no one would be mad at me, but I want to be there. We’re all kinds of freaks about this baby. It’s the first grandchild/niece in our family. It’s a BIG deal. So I finished getting ready, sent out some texts and left. Got about halfway there and my mom called again.

My Mom: “Hey, John called twice. The first time he said we didn’t need to rush, it could be a little bit. The second time he... oh, here’s my turn... gotta go... ”
Me: “WHAT?! Seriously?!”
My Mom: “She didn’t have the baby. Gotta go.”

Well then... mother... Thanks for being so informative. I made it there, and after losing myself in the hospital with so many well directive signs... I took the stairs to where I needed to be, and joined my parents in the waiting room. Crystal showed up shortly after I did. We waiting, watched some tv, and talked and anticipated this huge arrival. Greta has no idea what she’s in for with us. We got a call that it should be within the half hour. We were growing more and more excited. It wasn’t much longer when my father mentioned that he thought she was possibly having the baby as we spoke. I agreed that I too had that same feeling, while we watched the tv. Shortly after that, we got the call. Baby Greta was born at 9:32 (yes, right around the time we had that feeling) at 5 lbs. and 13 oz... seriously? That’s a small baby... AND she was 20 inches long... She’s going to be a small-tall baby. After we heard the news, we gathered our things and waited to be directed in, but still had to wait for her to be feed.

We were able to go into the room about 45 minutes later. We took turns sharing smiles and holding the baby. I couldn’t set my camera down. (Only pictures I had to post on here were from my phone, sorry for the quality.) She had the Fortin nose... the little button nose all of us have. We think she has John's eyes. I couldn’t believe it, she was FINALLY here!

Photo 1
Bridget and baby Greta! So beautiful, both of you!

Photo 2
Greta, keepin warm in the baby cooker. Nothing will be the same after today... (and to quote Ron Burgundy "and in no way is that depressing". Don't worry I'll teach you about Anchorman, when you're older).

Greta, I would like to welcome you to both of our families. There will be no shortness of love here for you. You’re in for a ride : ) I love you.

~Your Auntie B


Friday, January 14, 2011

My small exception...

I've always been the girl that is comfortable where I'm at. I like knowing what's around me and what's to come... Sounds boring, right? Well I make the best of it. After I graduated high school I decided I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, so I did the next best thing... community college. Spent about 2 1/2 years there covering generals... yes you read that right 2 and 1/2 years... Then it hit me, I wanted to move to California to go to school for fashion design... It was clear as day, this was my purpose. It made every bit of sense to me. I loved fashion (still do). I like to go into places or my closet and put together things that weren't readily available at first glance. You know, add my own touch to it.

This would be perfect! I hate Minnesota winter, I can teach myself some independence and get a degree in something I love! When I get this kind of a bug up my ass I'm gonna make it happen. Which I did. I spent the next 1/2 year of my community college life applying to schools, and taking the necessary classes to fulfill their requirements. I didn't necessarily care which school I went to, as long as it was accredited and I could get a degree of the bachelor type. Thought about San Francisco, San Diego and some southern cities, but landed on LA...

Now it's time... time to convince my dad that this was, in fact, a good idea. I brought him my findings and gave him my well-prepared speech. It was a go! Wow, really? With one exception, I was to apply to a MN college as a back up... ok, whatever... I couldn't believe it, I was going to be a CA resident and follow my dreams!

Found a roommate online, and we started searching for apartments. My parents and I booked a couple flights to LA to meet my roommate, and check out the apartments. This was a success. I met this surprisingly delightful girl Meredith, an aspiring actress… weird… She looked just like Charlize Theron, and was sweet as pie. I also checked out the apartment in Santa Monica that she had found, and found nothing to complain about. This is going surprisingly well! I couldn't wait to make this happen. 

Flew back out to LA again a few weeks later to go to orientation, and check out the school. Got my photo ID card made that day. The school was Cal State LA... sounds great right? Nope, I don't think east LA is what you're seeing when you watch TMZ or any of those reality shows... Well, the campus itself was very nice, I should at least say that much. The surrounding areas... not. so. much. I reassured myself that I don't care though, I'm still going to make this happen.

We flew home and it was only a matter of time before I was to make the big move. My dad decided that my car at the time had too many miles on it, and he didn't want it to break down on me while I was out there. So he got me a car. Damn, I wasn't expecting that. Got a laptop to get the schoolwork done. So I guess I'll start packing. I had a going away party, full of typical party drama, but great people. 

Then the time came to say goodbye to everyone. My father and I got up to leave Saturday morning (Sept 4, 2004 I believe) at 5:00 am. We were going to drive there in my car, full of all my stuff (the rest we'd purchase there when I was settled in). I woke up with butterflies... Is this what I wanted to do? Do I have the ability to leave all of these people 3,000 miles behind me to follow my 'dreams'? Yes, they are just nerves, don't worry, you'll be fine.

My dad and I left and I don't think we said one word to each other until we hit Colorado... COLORADO! I fought back tears here and there along the way. We got to Colorado and did, however, talk about the mountains after driving through... Iowa... Nebraska... Colorado was a f-in treat. At about 8 or 9:00 that night we started looking for a hotel to stay at. As my dad pulled in the parking lot, and got out to see if there was availability at one... I made some phone calls. I cried a little. It was hard to hear everyone out continuing their lives like it didn't matter that I wasn't there. Spent the night in CO, and off on the road again, through Utah we went. (Utah is weird, you'd think it's just like Colorado, but it's not.) Anyways, still barely any chitchat between my dad and I. Did I mention this was a 3,000-mile trip? Passed Las Vegas, thought how nice it would be if we were just going there, and then turning around and going home. In fact, most exits we passed on the whole trip, I wondered if he was going to ask if I was ready to turn around and go back. Like this was a test... I wish this was a test!

We pulled into LA (Sunday evening), tried to remind myself why I was there, and it worked for a little bit. Unloaded the car and put my stuff away. Hung out with the roommate for a little bit, and then she was off, which seemed to be her life. Off to a new thing, a new party, a new casting, etc. Sounds like fun, but I wasn't ready to be her tag along, or left behind.

After my dad and I made a trip to Target to purchase some small items... I'd had it... I bursted into tears and couldn't say anything. I waited... I cried and waited for him to say something. He knew. I think he wanted and prayed I was crying cause I had forgotten to get something important on my list, but he knew. He asked a few questions and I said ‘I can't do it’. He tried to convince me to stay for a little while and at least go to a semesters worth of classes, or hell even a week! I couldn't back down, I was too scared and dependent on everything I had in MN... We talked a while, only thing I remember from that conversation is him saying "You didn't just do this so I would buy you a car, did you?" NO, that was the last thing I would've expected him to ask. I would never go to such great lengths to get something so petty (not that cars are petty, but in this situation they are). He had a flight home the next day regardless. My sisters had a flight already booked to visit me a couple weeks later, regardless. So I called my mom and sisters. Told them I was coming home... listened through the ‘are you sures’ and the ‘is everything oks’. Finally got them to help me, my sister called up St. Cloud (my backup school) registered me for classes that had started in a couple days (Tuesday, Monday was labor day I believe). My mom called the airlines and booked me a ticket home 2 days later (Tuesday). So after all is said and done... My roommate thought I didn't like her, or the apartment, and my dad thought I wanted a new car. I sent my dad off to the airport on Monday. I spent my last day in LA driving around, looking at what I was going to miss out on. I packed up my car, and parked it in the garage. Got on a plane on Tuesday to go home. Started classes at St. Cloud on Wednesday...

My sisters took their flight out to CA as planned, but didn't take the returning flight... they got stuck with the duty of driving my car home... What a mess! I messed up big time. Coming back was also a hard thing for me to adjust to. People treated me differently because I was "gone", but now I'm back... huh? I will probably be apologizing for that "move" for the rest of my life. It is somewhat laughed about now, but I can't believe that happened. I look back these days and wonder what might have been. I do not "regret" coming back, because I've accomplished so much since, but I definitely wonder. I do however kick myself in the ass every winter... wtf.

It was a long day... please refrain from telling me how beautiful I look...


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